i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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