The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
