Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
