AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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