A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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