I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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