the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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