Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
