i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
