would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
