Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
