His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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