bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
