summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
