I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
