they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
