what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
