batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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