I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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