I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
