once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
