Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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