And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
