So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
