I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
