i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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