Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
