There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
