i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i now understand why vodka
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
