New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
