That's intense
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
