you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
