I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
