I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
