She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
