Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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