i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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