What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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