so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
