Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I lost the right to judge tonight
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
