Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I AM VODKA MAN
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
