Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
is it fun? or sober?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
