Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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