Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
