Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
