I want to stick my p in your. b.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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