well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My feet surprised me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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