I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
