We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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