some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
