It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
