Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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